How to Lay the Loving Down
For all you gals, wondering how you can improve your sexual skills here's a little tutorial. But, first allow me to explain that this isn't some Cosmo shit. I'm not here to deliver "10 Things that Drive him Wild" or to explain "His 5 Hottest Secret Fantasies about You!" Fuck Cosmo.
This is about YOUR pleasure, and sharing YOUR pleasure with your partner.
1) Masturbate. Masturbate. Masturbate.
Hon, if you don't know what turns you on, you won't be able to tell anyone else how to get you all worked up. So mastruabate in the morning, masturbate at work, masturbate on your evening commute, just learn how to diddle your skittle.
2) Talk to your Gurl and Guy Friends.
Hopefully, your friends are confident, sex-positive, educated folks who can regale you with tales of sexual wonder. If not, talk to them anyways. It's always useful to find out what realistic (not Cosmo, not Hollywood) sexual experiences are like.
3) Do Research.
Start reading books, articles, and websites about sex, and sex practices, as well as safe sex. Read everything you can get your horny little hands on.
A good book for straight ladies to check out is "Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man" by Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman. Good books for anyone hoping to bone up their sexual expertise are "Savage Love" by Dan Savage and "The Guide to Getting it On."
(Note: The links to Amazon are not actual encouragement to shop there--go support your local bookstores. The links are there so you can see what the books look like. I know ya'll like pictures.)
4) Move at a Speed that's Comfortable for you and your partner(s).
It might take an hour, three dates, or three months, but don't spread your legs until you feel comfortable. Feel free to control the escalation of sexual activity. You might only be inclined to give head and handjobs for the first month -- so be it. Sex is better when both (or all) parties feel comfortable, and don't have to worry about being bullied or pressured into activities they're not ready for -- so that also means being considerate of partners who aren't as gung-ho as you.
5) Play Safe.
Use condoms, dental dams, latex gloves, and whatever else is necessary to play safe. Don't exchange bodily fluids with someone unless you've both been tested and are monogomous. This should go without saying by now, but sadly it does not.
Tell your sex partner what turns you on (this often involves sublety, and moaning for emphasis when he or she gets it right). Ask your partner what turns them on, and act on their suggestions.
7) Practice . . . Alot.
Have sex as much as humanly possible. Forgo some sleep, or skip some meals if you have to, just get busy.
8) Be confident.
Don't be afraid to flip your lover over and whisper something naughty in her/his ear, or suggest some bondage, or introduce her/him to your kinks. Be confident in executing your technique and communicating your needs, as long as you are considerate and paying attention to your partner's needs, s/he will more than likely be willing to go along with you.
9) Have Fun.
This is fucking, not work, so make sure it's fun.