Pussy Scandalous

Afro-Gurl femi-empowerment with a kinky slap for yo' ass.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

How to Lay the Loving Down

For all you gals, wondering how you can improve your sexual skills here's a little tutorial. But, first allow me to explain that this isn't some Cosmo shit. I'm not here to deliver "10 Things that Drive him Wild" or to explain "His 5 Hottest Secret Fantasies about You!" Fuck Cosmo.

This is about YOUR pleasure, and sharing YOUR pleasure with your partner.

1) Masturbate. Masturbate. Masturbate.
Hon, if you don't know what turns you on, you won't be able to tell anyone else how to get you all worked up. So mastruabate in the morning, masturbate at work, masturbate on your evening commute, just learn how to diddle your skittle.

2) Talk to your Gurl and Guy Friends.
Hopefully, your friends are confident, sex-positive, educated folks who can regale you with tales of sexual wonder. If not, talk to them anyways. It's always useful to find out what realistic (not Cosmo, not Hollywood) sexual experiences are like.

3) Do Research.
Start reading books, articles, and websites about sex, and sex practices, as well as safe sex. Read everything you can get your horny little hands on.

A good book for straight ladies to check out is "Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man" by Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman. Good books for anyone hoping to bone up their sexual expertise are "Savage Love" by Dan Savage and "The Guide to Getting it On."

(Note: The links to Amazon are not actual encouragement to shop there--go support your local bookstores. The links are there so you can see what the books look like. I know ya'll like pictures.)

4) Move at a Speed that's Comfortable for you and your partner(s).

It might take an hour, three dates, or three months, but don't spread your legs until you feel comfortable. Feel free to control the escalation of sexual activity. You might only be inclined to give head and handjobs for the first month -- so be it. Sex is better when both (or all) parties feel comfortable, and don't have to worry about being bullied or pressured into activities they're not ready for -- so that also means being considerate of partners who aren't as gung-ho as you.

5) Play Safe.

Use condoms, dental dams, latex gloves, and whatever else is necessary to play safe. Don't exchange bodily fluids with someone unless you've both been tested and are monogomous. This should go without saying by now, but sadly it does not.


Tell your sex partner what turns you on (this often involves sublety, and moaning for emphasis when he or she gets it right). Ask your partner what turns them on, and act on their suggestions.

7) Practice . . . Alot.
Have sex as much as humanly possible. Forgo some sleep, or skip some meals if you have to, just get busy.

8) Be confident.
Don't be afraid to flip your lover over and whisper something naughty in her/his ear, or suggest some bondage, or introduce her/him to your kinks. Be confident in executing your technique and communicating your needs, as long as you are considerate and paying attention to your partner's needs, s/he will more than likely be willing to go along with you.

9) Have Fun.

This is fucking, not work, so make sure it's fun.

Monday, July 24, 2006

No Babies for Pussy

Salon did a small write-up on a blog called "The Shape of a Mother" where women go to share images of their bodies pre and post-pregnancy. It's important for women to have a place where they can share their stories and commiserate with other women about their bodies and the pressures they feel to fit ideal beauty standards.

However, the website confirmed for me my plans to NEVER have children. I like children--other people's children. I could actually see myself adopting in my forties or fifties, or possibly being a foster parent, but I never want to actually give birth to anything. Dealing with infants doesn't sound particuarly enjoyable. Being pregnant just sounds unappealing (I would feel like my body had been taken hostage for 9 months). Giving birth would be incredibly scary and painful. And having to deal with how pregnancy ravages your body is not a prospect that particuarly excites me.

I respect women who have and raise children, its a difficult job that recieves little thanks or compensation in our society. Women are in effect punished for having and raising children by being discriminated against during the job applicaiton process, and not receiving equal pay to men, as well as being punished by work policies that are unfair to working mothers (and fathers).

As a feminist I have a great deal of respect and compassion for women who give birth and take care of children, but as an individual, whenever I see a pregnant woman I think, "Thank Gawd, that's not me!"

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Pussy 101

I didn't have to sit Tango down and give him a Pussy 101 lecture. The boy backed off, and now seems to understand that just because I'm not cumming like a porn star, doesn't mean I'm not enjoying the ride.

Tango is in his early 30s, which is great (he's potentially the best sex in my life, thus far). I find that men in their late 20s and early 30s have generally been much better lays than men in their early 20s. With guys in their early 20s, I have to act like a hostess and introduce them to my body.

"Hi, I want you to meet my clitoris. You two should get to know each other, I promise you'll become of the best of friends."

I'm not saying I don't like having fingers slide deep inside me (cause actually, I fucking love that) but you've got to play with my fucking clit. It's not just there for aesthetic purposes--that's where the orgasms are tucked away.

Men in their thirties tend to know this (and woe unto the ones that don't)so I don't have to worry about playing hostess and can just lay back, spread my legs, and let them go to work--and I do love a man that knows how to work.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Pressure to Cum

I'm seeing a new boy (let's call him Tango) and the sex is great, except that I have difficulty orgasming (I always do with new partners). This isn't an issue to ME, because I'm enjoying myself, but it's an issue to him.

Tango asked me if I was cumming, and I told him no. At first I thought, "Ooh, a sensitive lover who's concerned about my pleasure--very nice." I explained to him that I don't always cum, but that I am REALLY enjoying myself. However, I soon realized Tango isn't so upset because he's concerend about my orgasm as a symbol of my pleasure, but rather he's concerned about my orgasm as a symbol of his male sexual expertise.

The boy has begun pressuring me to orgasm! You can't pressure someone to orgasm! That shit don't work! Hell, it's not like I don't WANT to cum, I love my orgasms (I give myself as many as I can) I just have difficulty cumming with somebody else.

(Sigh) I might have to school this boy.

(Gasp!) Republicans Are Still Unpopular With Black People

According to a NY Times article Republicans have failed in their efforts to attract black voters. I know, shocking, right?

Basically Republicans were making a play for permanent power and trying to pull in more minority voters--and they failed MASSIVELY. They pissed off all the black people by failing to mount a competent response to Hurricane Katrina, and then flipped around and pissed off all the Latinos by trying to criminalize those who helped illegal immigrants and other such nonsense with the immigration bill they passed through the house.

The NYT article delves into how Republicans were trying to lure African Americans away from the democratic party by running more black candidates and appealing to middle class black voters with "health saving accounts." Essentially, they were willing to do anything other than actually address the issues that Black people are concerned about, like instiutional racism, police brutality (like in Chicago), violence in Black communities, and HIV-AIDS.

The only minority groups that they haven't managed to explictly alienate for the upcoming presidential election are Asian Americans and Native Americans, but there's still time. I have faith in my Republican brothers and sisters. They have more than enough discriminatory policies to piss EVERYBODY off.

The Deomcratic Party certainly aren't saviors to minorities in general or African Americans in particular. They tend to ignore us in between elections, and as soon as November starts approaching during even-numbered years, they do a song and dance rountine on the steps of Black churches.

No. I'm pissed off at the Democrats too, I'm just more pissed at the Republicans ( I mean, damn, some of the them even had the temerity to opposse the renewal of the Voting Rights Act).

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Pussy Wants Peaches

Peaches is my favorite bad influence. When I found out she would be traveling to my dear city, I ran out and bought some tickets. I hear she loves to throw dildos out into the crowd, and I can always use another dildo.

Her new album, "Impeach my Bush" is ri-donk-alous. That's the only accurate word to describe it. Everytime I listen to it I want to run out, grab some guy, tie him to my bed and dance around my room while shrieking the lyrics. Yeah. It's that good.

Right now my favorite track is "Tent in Your Pants."

Here's a taste:

I see something in your pants that can't be real.
Don't hold back baby
tell me what's the deal
I've got to move in closer
and cop a feel.
Oh, my. You've got something with mass appeal.

Now, that's poetry.